


Love Letters

by Final_Redemption



Category: Johnny Marr - Fandom, Morrissey - Fandom, The Smiths
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25970566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Final_Redemption/pseuds/Final_Redemption
Summary: Morrissey is a cynical student who is in love with his best friend, Johnny Marr. It’s coming up to Valentine’s Day - which usually wouldn’t matter to Morrissey. What happens when Johnny suggests he writes a letter to someone?
Relationships: Johnny Marr/Morrissey, Morrissey/Johnny Marr
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Love Letters

I am in love with Johnny Marr. 

It took me an embarrassingly long time to admit this - but it is more than the truth. I never believed in love until the very day I laid eyes upon him. His midnight black hair that is imbedded with copious amounts of hairspray. His gangly frame. His oddly shaped, but lovely rose petal coloured lips. His glimmering eyes that are as waltzing, and as endearing as an unobtainable gemstone. They are not simply brown - they are speckled with amber, and emerald that seem to never fail to make my insides blossom with feelings I will never quite fathom. Those aren’t even the most wonderful qualities that he possesses. Not at all. Johnny is my world. He is my everything. When I met him for the very first time, I could just feel my heart pulsate with this new lust for life. He simply looked into my eyes, and breathed new life into me. He is so very talented. His long fingers dance across his fretboard oh so majestically. My ears are then flooded with mystical, angelic and jangling tunes that leave me shaken, and utterly entranced. He is fascinating. His music is so raw, so real. Johnny’s music will forever open my eyes to a whole other world of ideas, and possibilities. Oh - but how sad - he will never think of me quite the same. 

I am sat here - in class as the teacher drones on and on about nonsensical things that will never prepare me for the ugly outside world. I am thinking of him, always. He is sat beside me, his pen in his mouth as his eyes squint and widen at the chalkboard. His every movement will never go unnoticed by me. I watch him like a hawk, I am surprised he has never noticed. Johnny is rather oblivious, which both helps but leaves me spiralling into a whirlwind of dread, and frustration. I want to yell at him. I want to shake him. I want to tell him how he makes me feel, but I cannot.  
Why must I lead such a terrible life? I curse whatever odd being is up there, prancing around with far too much power. 

I hear the bell ringing through the building, signalling the end of this useless lesson. I have not learnt anything new - as per-usual. I only come here to see Johnny and to please my Mother. I am smarter than all of these bastard teachers combined - I do not need their input or guidance. 

I push past the swarming of students, making my way to my locker. I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, letting a sigh escape from me. What has become of me? I am heartsick, for God’s sake! How foolish. How humiliating. 

“ Hey, Moz! “ Johnny calls out to me, his voice soft and fruitful. 

I look at him with what I assume to be utter enthralment. His black shades are veiling his pretty cinnamon toned eyes which saddens me immensely. Thankfully, though, his charming grin is on display. I smile as I itch the back of my neck, completely dumbfounded by such utter beauty. 

“ Hello, Johnny. What is it that you want? “ My voice sounds dreadful, as per. Johnny doesn’t seem to care, his features still beaming with joy as he looks at me. 

“ Oh - I was just thinking about you, that’s all. One of the lads brought up that Valentine’s Day was on the horizon, got me wondering if my best-mate has any special person in mind, eh? “ That devilish grin that painted his face never left him. I was amazed. How could one boy hold so much charisma and energy? Well, I will never know. His question spun around in my head like a crackling Vinyl. I was so caught up in the way his mouth curled when he spoke, I had forgotten how to formulate a coherent sentence. 

“ Oh, well, no one will ever have me. You know how it is, I’m terribly dysfunctional and ghastly. Love is not for those who are like me, dearest Johnny. “ 

I watched closely as Johnny shuffled in front of me. He had shifted in expression, it seemed. Johnny took his black shades off, his glaring eyes that were emphasised by over-applied eyeliner making my insides drown in butterflies, and fear. The effect he had on me was astounding.

“ Don’t be coy, Moz! “ He sharply argued, his hands on his hips as he did so. 

“ I’m not. I’m never coy. There is nothing for me to be coy over. “ 

Johnny quirked a brow at me, flicking his fluffy black hair out from his dark eyes. 

“ You are so amazing, Moz. You have a beautiful singing voice. You’re cute. You’re funny. You’re a phenomenal writer. You’re so, so smart. You have many things to be coy over! “ 

I tried to hide the obvious blush that radiated against my pearly white cheeks, but I simply couldn’t. I felt myself break into a grin that made the muscles in my face ache. Johnny is just far too sweet. I wonder if he truly knows the effect he has on me. 

“ Oh, Johnny, you flatter me. “ 

Johnny let out an adorable laugh that made my heart lodge in the back of my throat. He truly was wonderful. 

“ I’m just being truthful! Seriously - grow some confidence and write a letter to someone. What’s the worst that could happen? “ 

Johnny had left me with lots to think about as he scampered off in his usual energetic manner. Write a love-letter? What an interesting concept! I was never the traditional type, but maybe this whole Valentines extravaganza could give me the opportunity I needed to declare my love. Yes, it’s a marvellous idea! I shall write a letter to Johnny and let him know how I truly feel! No more biting my tongue, no more hiding. Well, that is partially true as I would be performing this all anonymously but - Johnny would at least be able to read the words that I have yearned to tell him for so very long. 

“ Oh, Johnny, if only you could truly know how you make me feel. I lay awake at night, wishing you were there to hold me tight and to tell me that all in life will be alright, as you will stay by my side. Tell me, tell me, tell me how you truly feel! I am gasping, I am dying for you to let me know. “

I hug my books closely to my bony chest, watching as he holds my letter to him in his hands. He scans it with fascination, and wonder. It makes me feel gleeful but afraid all the same. Does he know it’s me? He must, surely. 

Johnny folds my letter and carefully puts it into his locker, shutting it as he swiftly walks away. 

Does he not know it’s me? Or does he know and is simply just saving me from my own embarrassment? I don’t know. This is torturous. I can’t stand this. I must know how he feels, my heart can’t bear not knowing any longer. 

A shrilling noise of the bell echoes throughout the classroom, causing me to flinch in shock. Nothing has changed, nothing at all. I push myself up from my seat, waltzing out of the room in what I guess to be a gloomy manner. My heart is aching. I am poisoned with dread, and terror. Why must Johnny do this to me? If only he knew just how torn up I was over all this. Maybe he does. Maybe he does know and he just doesn’t feel the same. How awful. I will never live a fulfilling life without his love. 

I walk up to my locker, dazedly eying it. I was surprised to see a note stuck on there. I shifted my eyes left to right, curious as to whom left it for me. 

“ Hello, Handsome! Meet me at our local diner tonight at 7:30pm so we can have a chat! “ 

I was taken aback by the letter’s contents. Somebody not only called me Handsome - but proposed to me what seemed to be some form of date at a diner. Could this be Johnny? Oh my - maybe it is! I felt my heart quicken and my blood bubble with anticipation. I must go to the diner tonight and find out if I’m right. 

I am now sat here, in one of the booths in the diner I was told to go to. I am flustered. I am terrified. I am excited. I am overwhelmed in every way conceivable. I bounce my leg nervously, my eyes darting across the bustling diner impatiently. The enticement of what is to come makes my hairs stick on end. Could Johnny truly be the one who comes through those doors? I sure hope so. 

“ Hey! “ I hear a voice that is not Johnny call out to me. 

I flicker my eyes to the man taking a seat in front of me. Oh. It was Andy. 

I felt my heart break into a million pieces, my voice going dead in the back of my throat. 

“ I can’t believe you actually came, I’m so happy you did! “ Andy chirped, his forest green eyes twinkling under the bright lights of the diner. 

I trailed my tongue along my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from being sick. Andy was a lovely boy, from what I could tell from our few encounters. He was always very timid, very polite and I had no bone to pick with him whatsoever. I was simply just heartbroken that Johnny wasn’t the one that was sat in front of me. I had this grain of hope that it could’ve been Johnny. How silly of me. 

“ Oh, hello, Andy. “ I couldn’t help but sound disappointed and glum. I just felt as if nothing in life mattered anymore for Johnny clearly didn’t love me back. 

Andy’s extremely arched brows quirked upwards as his once grinning mouth, melted into a frown that was of knowing. 

“ Oh - I’m guessing you thought I was going to be somebody else, right? “ Andy’s face was bright red, his kind eyes were glued to the ceiling in what I assume to be discomfort, and embarrassment. He was right. I did think he was going to be somebody else. 

“ I’m sorry. Mother always said I was dreadful at masking my true emotions. This isn’t your fault, I just got lost in a fairytale and you pulled me out of it. “ My voice was dull, and croaky as I examined the empty glass in my hands. I could feel Andy’s eyes burning into me, but I didn’t care to look up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing the look of pity he felt for me sparking in his eyes. 

“ It’s ok, seriously. I admire the fact that you are upfront, it’s far better than being lead on. “ Andy sounded hopeful, but had a twinge of sadness in his deep, gravely voice. I finally looked up and met eyes with him. I raised my bushy brows, and cocked my head to the side. 

“ Thank you. I don’t understand why anyone would seek joy in the toying of another’s emotions. Those who do so should be killed. “ 

Andy let out a loud laugh, his full cheeks rosy and flushed. 

“ Who hurt you? “ He asked me, his voice a mixture of serious and playful. 

I closed my eyes in anguish, breathing in - and then - breathing out as my clutch tightened around my empty glass. 

“ A boy. A boy who will never truly love me back. “ 

Andy made a quizzical expression, looking to be deep in thought. He was judging me. Marvellous. 

“ Have you tried letting him know? “ 

I tapped my empty glass absentmindedly with one of my fingers, letting my vision blur slightly as I momentarily left reality. 

“ Yes. I wrote him a love letter. “ 

Andy made a face of intrigue, leaning in closer over the table as if we were discussing something criminal. Hmm, maybe my love life was a rather criminal topic. 

“ Did he know it was from you, though? Like - was it anonymous or did you sign it off with your name? “ Andy queried, his eyes bulbous with endearment as he stared at me expectantly. I placed my glass down on the table, crossing my arms as I thought for a moment. 

“ Well, of course not. Who do you take me for? Some ballsy fool? Absolutely not. I know how to test the waters. “ I snapped, my tone seeping with annoyance that I couldn’t seem to hold back. 

Andy leant back into his seat once more, looking at me in such a way that made me wonder if I mauve grown a second head. 

“ How are you supposed to know if he likes you back if he doesn’t even know the letter is from you? “ Andy finally said, his voice far quieter than before. Oh dear. I think I’ve scared the poor thing. 

I furrowed my brows and tilted my head upwards as I processed his question. Of course Johnny would know it’s me! He recognises my writing style, surely! Who else would speak with such eloquence?!? The rest of this school probably write childish and generic nonsense. I, however, dig deep into the cellar of my heart and write something moving, and heartfelt. 

“ He’d recognise my manner of speaking. I’m sure of that. “ I retorted, feeling myself heat up with newfound rage. I had no idea why I felt so aggravated. 

Andy looked at me curiously, scratching his cheek as he momentarily broke eye contact with me. 

“ Look - maybe he’s just an oblivious person, you know? He might think it’s you but not actually believe it because it’s not blatantly you, you know? “ Andy reasoned, his eyes looking as though they were almost pleading with me to try and understand where he was coming from. I suppose I was being rather rash about the whole ordeal, I have a bad habit of doing so. 

“ Yes... maybe you are right. I’m sorry. “ 

Andy shot me a apologetic smile. Whatever for? For my heart being broken by the love of my life? God knows. 

“ I could help you, if you’d like. “ Andy offered, that excited gleam in his eyes reigniting. 

I ran a hand through my hair tiredly, scrunching up my face as I thought. 

“ How on earth would you do that? Valentine’s Day is in two days! I have already blown my chances. That’s just simply the ugly truth. “ 

Andy frowned at me in such a way that made me want to be sick all over. There is nothing worse than being looked at as if you are some fragile rose petal, scared to be unearthed by some higher power. 

“ I’ll give you tips and things, help you head in the right direction. I’ll first have to know who this mystery man is, though. “ Andy explained to me, making me shift in my seat. Tell him that I’m madly in love with Johnny? I’ve never told anyone that before. So strange. So foreign. Maybe it would be for the better? 

“ His name’s Johnny. Johnny Marr. “ Saying his name out-loud shook me to my very core. I felt a wave of giddiness ripple over my feeble frame, causing me to shudder and my lips to quiver. God. I was a wreck.

Andy’s face illuminated with surprise when he processed the information I had thrusted upon him. I hunched my shoulders forward in some form of shame, and looked down at my lap. 

“ Wow. Your best friend? “ Andy finally said, his voice harsh against the many others droning on in the background of the diner. 

I looked up at him anxiously, and bit down at my lip. 

“ Yes. I have been in love with him for far too long now. It’s killing me. “

Andy looked at me and his eyes bled with what seemed to be sorrow.

“ I’m sorry. Don’t worry, Moz, I’m going to help you out! “ Andy bellowed, his hands placed on our table in enthusiasm. I let out a soft chuckle. 

“ I must be going, then. “

“ No, no! Stay for food at least? I’m starving! “

“ Fine. “

“ Oh, Johnny, I am so terribly sad! You got my letter, didn’t you? You were either clueless as to whom would send you such a thing, or you knew it was me and were simply saving my tail from a endless stream of embarrassment. If so, thank you, it’s very much appreciated. I am still dying. I am still yearning for you. I can never stop. I will never stop. Please just let me know, please! I love you so, please don’t ever let me go, oh! “

Andy and I watched with immense enthralment as Johnny scanned my letter. I was so very nervous as to what he may do next. I looked over to Andy, noticing that even he was anxious. His mouth was agape as he stared on at Johnny. 

“ What’s he doing? “ Andy asked me, his pronounced brows furrowing. 

“ Reading. “ I commented, rather dryly. 

Andy made a frustrated noise, flickering his gaze back to my beloved Johnny. 

“ What do you think he’s thinking, though? Do you think he’s finally caught on that it’s you writing all that poetic stuff? “ Andy babbled, his face beaming with intrigue as he awaited my answer. 

“ That, I’m afraid, will forever be a mystery. Poetic stuff? Dearest Andy, when was the last time you picked up a book? “ 

I watched as Andy tapped his chin for some comical attempt at looking deep in thought, and interesting. 

“ I dunno. I don’t really read. “ 

I grimaced upon hearing those very words. He didn’t read?!Preposterous! I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t bury my nose into one of my favourite books, inhaling the quilling scent of the pages, open mouthed as my mind flashes with each sharp word that my fingertips skim across. Oh, how dreadful a life without books must be... 

“ Moz! “ 

I was suddenly pulled out from my thoughts about my fascination with books by the hellish sound of Andy screeching. I blinked repeatedly a few times, dazedly redirecting my gaze to where Johnny was. 

He looked to be rather troubled, his eyes shifting from left, right and centre. God - he must feel violated by my embarrassing declarations of love, mustn’t he? How shameful of me...

“ He’s put your card into his locker. He seems to be keeping them! “

“ How lovely. He now has a endlessness of blackmail to use against me. Delightful. “ Andy playfully shoved me as if that may shut me up. It will not. Nothing will. 

“ You should go and talk to him! “ Andy suggested, his arms flailing in the air for emphasis. 

Talk to him? That sounded like the hardest task known to man. What on Earth would I say? Should I compliment his leather jacket that he has now worn for the 10th day in a row? God only knows. 

“ What should I say? “ I asked, my voice sounding as small as a mouse. I clutched even tighter to my books as if they mauve been a lifeline and awaited for Andy’s answer. 

Andy appeared to think for a moment, his eyes momentarily shutting. 

“ Just go up to him and ask him if he’s gotten any letters yet! “ Andy exclaimed, loudly. 

I readjusted my glasses and inhaled deeply. 

“ Ok. Fine. “ I murmured as I began to make my way over to Johnny. 

Johnny rested his eyes upon me, making my heart ache with longing. Oh, why must he do this to me?

“ What’s up, Moz? “ He asked me, his features still beaming with nerves. 

“ Oh, I was just wondering if anything interesting has occurred? Have you gotten any letters? “ I stammered, my voice higher than usual. 

Johnny made a face to himself, dragging one of his hands through his messy, midnight black hair. 

“ Oh - Yeah, Yeah. “ He admitted, causing me to seep with terror. 

I pulled at the collar of my pastel pink shirt, clearing my throat. 

“ Do you have any idea on who it may be? “ 

Johnny eyed me up and down quickly, his mouth twitching. 

“ No. Not a clue. “ His voice came, his tone was deadpanned which made me want to breakdown and cry. 

I shuffled in place awkwardly. 

“ That’s a shame... I’ve always hated not knowing things. Although, that never is a recurring problem I have to face. “

Johnny seemed to look at me skeptically, his eyes flaring with confusion.

“ What about you, then? Wrote any letters to any lucky - er - uhm - person?... “ Johnny spluttered, his face twisted into a troubled expression. 

I quickly weighed out in my head what the best response may be. Should I say yes? Should I say no? It was terribly hard to decide. 

“ Yes, I have, surprisingly. The oblivious boy hasn’t realised it yet, though. “ I admitted, my insides rippling with anticipation. 

Johnny smiled at me, itching the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“ Uhm... I have something for you. “ Johnny spoke softly, fumbling inside the back pocket of his washed out jeans to reveal what looked to be a letter of sorts. Oh. No. 

He handed it to me and I took it hesitantly. 

“ I don’t really know how to do this in some poetically, beautiful way like you always seem to do so i’m sorry in advance. I love you so much, Moz. You’re like - really cool, really hip, you know? You’re kinda pretentious but I like it and, like, who wouldn’t be if they were you? That funky high quiff of yours and your insane wit, my god! I just think you’re so beautiful. I swear when I look into your eyes my mind travels into several different worlds. God - and your voice! It’s so, like, you! It’s just Moz! How funny! Your voice is you! Anyway - I really, really like you... no! I love you. I’m in love with you. I wanna kiss you. I wanna hold you. Will you let me? “

I looked up at Johnny after reading his letter, my eyes welling with tears as a smile of pure joy pulled at the corners of my lips. 

Johnny quirked a brow at me, causing me to let out a laugh through tears that started to dance down my cheeks. 

“ Yes! Yes! Yes! “ I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck. 

Johnny kissed me open mouthed, and passionately. I swear in that very moment he truly breathed new life into me. My heart was beating profusely, Johnny a breath away from my face after he broke away from our kiss. His face dawned a pleased expression, his cinnamon toned eyes bright, and wondrous as ever. 

“ I love you, Johnny. “

“ I love you too, Moz. “

And finally - my life began.


End file.
